Frankly Freddie – go bonkers

I’m worried.  Peggy & Judy are promoting a recreational drug.

Did you know that some cats get euphoric, others are sedated and EVEN drool when they sniff catnip?  Some veterinarians think that the moans cats make while exposed to catnip are responses to chemically induced hallucinations!

When a human has hallucinations and drools it’s a problem but when cats take recreational drugs humans think it’s cute.

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Consumer Reporter

I looked up catnip and here’s some startling information I found:

  • Smoking catnip became popular as an alternative to marijuana in the 1960s. When the herb is smoked, it produces a low level, legal high complete with audio/visual hallucinations and a relaxed feeling. Concentrated doses of Nepeta cataria brewed as a tea can also produce a mild, short-term sedative effect in humans.”
  • Leaves from Nepeta cataria or nepetalactone oil extracts are used by cat owners to provoke their pets. 
  • Catnip, in large enough quantities, will also work as an attractant for large cats like lions and tigers.
  • Europeans in the 1400s regularly drank teas made from catnip, with the herb earning a medicinal application for treatment of colic and flatulence. Nepeta cataria is a member of the mint family, with tea brewed that possesses a flavor and smell similar to mint tea
  • Made into a tea, catnip has calming properties similar to chamomile.
  • Concentrated nepetalactone also makes for a powerful mosquito repellent. However, it lasts just a few hours.

Catnip serves no real purpose other than allowing owners to watch their cats go bonkers

Catnip should be a controlled substance and this blog name should be changed to FreddieBlog

I rest my case.

 

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Frankly Freddie – Dog Owners are Healthier Hoofers

I take my human out for a walk as often as I can.  She’s a bit delusional . . .  she thinks she’s walking me.  So I constantly have to find proof that she needs to quit patting herself on the back and pat me.

In a study published in the journal BMC Public Health, dog owners on average walked 22 minutes more per day compared to people who didn’t own a dog.

The study found that the dog owners walked briskly and got their heart rates up. At times, their pace was about 3 miles per hour, which the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention considers moderate intensity.

Prior studies have shown that moderate-intensity walking is just as effective as running in lowering the risk of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, Type 2 diabetes and other conditions. And the more people walk, the more the health benefits increase, according to the American Heart Association.

(“The national physical activity guidelines call for 150 minutes a week of moderate-intensity exercise.”)

“If you look at studies on pet ownership, people who own pets seem to live longer than those who don’t own them,” . . .  

Get a life.  Get a dog . . . like me

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CHT

Certified Human Trainer

If you don’t believe me read this: Dog Owners Walk 22 minutes more per day 

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Frankly Freddie – Why you can’t herd cats

Dear Humans,

I continue to struggle with the fact that canines have been relegated to a lessor position than felines on this blog.  In an effort to educate Peggy and Judy I submit this article which I’ve:

  • edited for precious blog space
  • emphasized (in black) the scientific proof and
  • pointed out the obvious (in blue) 

How hard can it really be to herd cats?

“Ask Daniel Mills, professor of veterinary behavioural medicine at the University of Lincoln, UK. In a recent study, Mills and his colleague Alice Potter demonstrated that cats are more autonomous and solitary than dogs. Carrying out the research for the project was as difficult as the cat’s reputation might suggest.”

“They are challenging if you want them to do certain things in a certain way,” says Mills. “They tend to do their own thing.”

“Cat owners (with the exception perhaps of Peggy) everywhere will sympathise. But why exactly are cats so reluctant to cooperate, either with each other or with a human? Or to flip the question around, why are so many other animals – wild and domestic – willing team players?”

1. It’s a well known that cats are greedy and don’t share.  That’s not nice.

” . . . domestic cats . . .  hunt small animals. “You don’t want to be around somebody else when they’ve just caught a mouse, because they’re going to eat it whole,” Packer says. “It’s gone. There is not enough food to share.” 

Proof by Peggy

2.  Cats are gate-crashers which is rude.

“All domesticated cats are descended from Middle Eastern wildcats (Felis silvestris), the “cat of the woods”. Humans did not coax those early cats out of the woods; the cats invited themselves into our grain storehouses, where an abundance of mice fed unchecked. Gate-crashing this mouse party marked the start of a truly symbiotic relationship. The cats loved the well-stocked storehouses, and the people appreciated the pest control.”

3.  Cats are stubborn at best and unsociable at worst.

“They retain a large degree of independence and approach, or stay close to us, only when they want to,” says Dennis Turner, a cat expert and animal behaviourist at the Institute for Applied Ethology and Animal Psychology in Horgen, Switzerland.”

“Cats have evolved lots of mechanisms to keep themselves apart, which aren’t exactly conducive to herding,” says Mills. Cats spray their territory to help avoid awkward meetings with each other. If they do accidentally come face to face, the hackles rise and the claws come out.”  I mark my territory to leave a friendly calling-card.

More Proof by Peggy

“In some circumstances it can appear that domestic cats have embraced group living; for instance, a colony living in a barn. But do not be fooled . . . “

“They’re very loose aggregations and they don’t have any real group identity,” he says. “They just have a common place they come to keep their kittens.”

“In keeping with their solitary, uncooperative reputation, cats turned out to be neurotic, impulsive and resistant to being ordered around.”  I didn’t say that the SCIENTISTS did.

4.  Cats are uncooperative which creates unnecessary tension in an already tense world.

“In fact, even in the face of extreme danger, which often brings animals together to form a defensive unit, it is unlikely cats would cooperate. “It’s just not something that they typically do when they’re threatened,” says Monique Udell, a biologist at Oregon State University. Cats just do not believe in strength in numbers.”

“A study published in 2014 in the Journal of Comparative Psychology saw scientists probe the personality traits of domestic cats. In keeping with their solitary, uncooperative reputation, cats turned out to be neurotic, impulsive and resistant to being ordered around.”  SCIENTISTS know.

Lions live together, unlike other cats (Credit: Images of Africa Photobank/Alamy)

Lions live together, unlike other cats (Credit: Images of Africa Photobank/Alamy)

I rest my case.  Please let Peggy and Judy know you want this blog to, at the VERY LEAST, give equal voice to cuddly canines not just to those who raise their hackles and have claws.

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CCT, RET

If you don’t believe me here’s the full article: It is Almost Impossible to Herd Cats Thanks to Evolution

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Pawsitively Tuesday – Frankly Freddie: Meowie, Meowy, & Me

Dear Human-beings and other creatures,

Alas and alack

MORE cats are back

and I’m last in the pack

If it weren’t for their claws

I’d give them a wack*

Peggy & judy are undoubtedly trying to appease me (since they didn’t name this blog FREDDIE or EVEN dedicate it to me) by giving me guest posting privileges and as such I’ve been granted the dubious task of introducing Meowie and her body-double.

Meowie

Meowie gets around (not in a salacious sense).  She’s allowed to travel.  However, in an effort to thwart the cataparazzi she often sends a body-double out in public.  

Body Double Meowy:  She’s had plastic surgery to enhance her looks.  Judy Clemmer, sewing-surgeon-to-the-stars gave her a nose job and coiffed her coat to make her look fluffy.  I suspect Judy C. used both Rogaine and hair extensions.

Body Double Meowy

If you spot Meowie’s body double on the prowl or sight-seeing let me know.

*I wouldn’t give anyone a wack, I’m a pacifist, but it was the only thing that rhymed with pack

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, SE, SC

Senior Editor and Special Contributor

 

Frankly Freddie – How to Refresh Your Relationship (parenthetically speaking)

The bad news: Our Peggy is not feeling good which leads to . . . The good news:  I have free reign on this blog (where canines have been marginalized).

According to REGINA BRIGHT, MS, LMHC there are 12 ways to “ignite the flame . . . and restore the passion that you and your partner deserve.”

I’ve got important suggestions (and comments) for her list:

  • Be social.  Socializing with other couples will bring about new adventures to add to your list. (Always smell them first.)
  • Make your partner feel special. Let him or her know that your relationship is at the top of your priority list. (Preferably by giving lots of belly scratches and treats).
  • Learn to be an effective communicator. Being a good communicator means being a good listener. Most couples listen with the intent to reply. Instead, listen with the intent to understand.  (That’s all well and good but we will never understand humans.)
  • Play nice. Watch your tone. No name-calling, no degrading, and no blaming. (Never say “baaaaad doggie) If you slip up, don’t forget to apologize. . . ( by offering a treat.)
  • Volunteering at a church, soup kitchen, women’s shelter, Red Cross, or nursing home is a great way to give back to the community and will leave you and your partner with a sense of accomplishment.  (Volunteer at an animal shelter or become a foster parent to a canine.)
  • Break up the routine from time to time to make things more exciting. (Take walks in different locations to find different smells.)
  • Learn to accept your partner for the things that you like and don’t like. Respect each other’s differences. Allow your partner to be themselves. If we mold our partner to be what we wish they were, then we only love the reflection of ourselves. (I have no idea what she’s talking about. Molding humans is our calling)
  • Everyone needs alone time. (No they don’t . . . unless you’re a cat.)
  • Surprise your partner. Surprises can also come in other forms. Straightening up the garage or cleaning up the kitchen can be a great gift. (The only gift that makes sense is surprise treats)
  • Intimacy not only means physical affection, it also means emotional affection (and treats)
  • Equally divide chores. (Chores?)
  • Experience something new. Maybe redo a room together or learn how to make sushi this Friday night. (Sushi would be good, beefsteak would be better.)

Frankly Freddie,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Certified Canine Therapist, RET and relationship expert

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CCT, RET

If you don’t believe me, read the unedited: How to Refresh Your Relationship Today by REGINA BRIGHT, MS, LMHC