Guaranteed* to decrease moping, malcontent and feeling blue. Gratitude is now available over-the-counter, but should not be used off-label for conditions other than dysphoria.
Rx for Gratitude by Peggy
Adverse Side effects
- Only take as directed, no more than 100 gratitudes a day, or may induce euphoria, resulting in dancing nude on the beach which can lead to skin cancer.
- Can cause lightheartedness in individuals with pre-existing conditions of joy
- May impair balance and equilibrium with danger of falling in love with yourself or others.
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The Fate of young ladies who “demurred”
with Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos or Mark Zuckerberg
There once was a Miss
who declined a kiss
fearing the poor lad
would make her look bad
if the news leaked
about her and this geek.
There’s no mystery
The rest is history
This fearful honey
is out of the money
In my opinion, one of the most “damaging” things we can tell our children, or ourselves for that matter, is that if we set our mind to it and have the perseverance we can do anything, accomplish anything, be anything. WRONG.
No matter how much I may want to be a nuclear physicist my brain simply will not grasp the finer, much less coarser, points of physics or math. No matter how much I might want to be a sumo wrestler, my body, dexterity and athletic ability forbids it.
So if I were going to talk to The Cat in the Hat I would tell him to change what he preaches to:
You have brains in your head
You have feet in your shoes
Try things, succeed OR fail,
You’ve got nothing to lose.